Wednesday, 3 August 2005
knives......an endangered species!
Just a minor issue with Lao tradition (alongside the use of condensed milk in coffee) is the cultural allergy Laos' residents have towards knives. Every meal you order, from fried rice to steak, is presented alongside a fork and a spoon. Lao culture dictates that you eat an entire meal with a spoon because placing a fork in your mouth is considered extremely rude. That may be the case, but have you ever tried cutting meat with a fork and spoon? It is a unique experience, often resulting in flecks of meal populating your clothing in an unsightly manner. It is possible that the use of knives at meal times may be the one western tradition that should be encouraged over here -that, and an import of Jersey cows to produce half decent fresh milk for coffee!
the tale of the angry gecko
Geckos certainly don't come across as particulary agressive creatures. Lethargic maybe; viscious man eaters, most definitely not. I have, however, discovered another side to these sticky-footed fellows. Admittedly, it was my fault. I could also blame Beer Lao for the role it played in events. To cut to the chase I - only mildly intoxicated - decided, on Shane's discovery of a giant, well-fed foot-long Gecko, that it would be a great idea to get intimate with nature and grab it. In one swift move, said gecko had attached its razor sharp teeth to my knuckle. Yes it drew blood. Yes it hurt. And yes said gecko took flight as I struggled to free myself from its clutches.
All said and done I now declare myself to be of monumental twit status, a true member of the 'dipstick' clan alongside fellow member - the Balinese sun hat wearer on the underground.
And yes I do question my natural hair colour on a regular basis!
All said and done I now declare myself to be of monumental twit status, a true member of the 'dipstick' clan alongside fellow member - the Balinese sun hat wearer on the underground.
And yes I do question my natural hair colour on a regular basis!
Sunday, 31 July 2005
Road trip Laos style with a red-necked American
Apologies for the lack of blog entries over the last few days, but I've been having far too much fun to fester in front of a computer screen for any length of time. Friday night was indeed drinkies after work. Tim, Song (now correctly spelt), Shane (American friend) and myself had drinks and food on board one of the river cruises; very reasonable prices, some rather hot food, a good few Beer Laos (to stop my mouth disintegrating from the heat of the food of course) and a fabulous view of the river. We sat and watched the sunset and as it got dark, the engines began and we set off up the Mekong. The boat pootled along on a one and a half hour round trip up and down the Mekong. It was great just to sit and watch the world go by from the boat and provided a new perspective on the city.
After our nautical escapade, Tim and Song headed home and Shane and I decided to head out. I had my first experience of side saddling on the back of a motorbike as I hadn't pre-empted the need for practicality and had worn a skirt to work. I shall now pre-empt the need for practicality. I'd rather sit like a man. It is certainly not great for someone with long legs to side saddle as you have to balance both feet on one peddle or stick one foot out to prevent it dragging along the floor risking unsavoury consequences.
A quick drive round the city and we decided to head to the usual expat/ falang hangout; a rooftop bar overlooking the river. On full stomachs of Beer Lao we decided to experiment with cocktails....a pina colada, tequilla sunrise and margarita later we decided to play darts.....whether it be the alcohol or the lack of contact lenses I declare that I shall not be taking up professional darts as a chosen career.
The following day I'd arranged to meet Shane, and more importantly, his motorbike, to visit the 'spectacular' sites of Vientiane. We headed to the Morning Market, so called because it is open all day.....there is logic there somewhere! Originally Vientiane had a morning market and an evening market. The evening market closed and the morning market began staying open all day....the people in Vientiane never quite got round to changing the name.
They sell some wonderful stuff here. Really good quality antique silver, vast swathes of silk in all colours and designs and all the plastic and electronic mass produced 'quality' items you could care to dream of thanks to Laos' Chinese neighbour.
I bought some material to have a Sin made. Sins are the local traditional skirts they wear here. Fortunately, unlike many traditional costumes from around the globe, they are actually extremely smart and wearable within modern society. This will reduce the risk that I shall end up joining the 'dipstick' clan; travellers who insist on wearing their souvenirs on the streets of London in an attempt to appear 'unique' or 'well-travelled', whilst realistically attaining instant 'twit' status. My most recent experience of this phenomenon on the underground was with a white guy wearing a Balinese sun hat- worn subtly in paddy fields, yet achieving monumental 'twit' status on the Picadilly line.
So on to the road trip! Sat comfortably like a man on the back of the motorbike, Shane and I headed out of town towards the 'famous' Buddha park - the vision of a Thai artist. The journey was occasionally chaotic as we weaved around cavernous pot holes attempting to pre-empt some rather unusual driving. Thankfully everyone here drives extremely slowly- possibly due to the speed-reducing potholes- but road deaths still hit 600 year (in a population of 600,000 that is quite a few). Its not overly surprising when most motorbike riders drive one handed with an umbrella to shelter from sun/rain, families of four share a single bike and I've even seen people riding whilst holding parts of their bike together.
The Buddha Park is quite surreal with hundreds of concrete statues of Buddha in all shapes and sizes. It is also very small with a look round taking about 10mins. Our bike ride out had taken about half an hour and, despite it being overcast Shane had turned from pallid to a glorious shade of lobster red. He therefore took it upon himself to drive twice as fast on the return to get out of the sun. Thankfully, he has yet to develop Lao driving skills so we made it safe and sound to Tim and Song's.
Tim and Song have become my adoptive parents out here. They have been so generous. Song offered to cut my hair (she is a professional hairdresser) and after my hairdresser nightmares in Cricklewood, I kindly accepted her offer. She also asked her mum if she could make me a Sin. Her mum measured me up using a piece of string along which she tied strategic knots that somehow represented measurements. When Song's sister arrived from the market she then offered Shane and I three packets each of sweet dried bananas. No one can say that the Lao people are anything but generous. I did however draw the line when Song offered to do my laundry.
In the evening I met up with Shane again -yes I admit I only have one friend here- to go bowling; a favourite past time of the locals in Vientiane! We met up with Shane's best friend Sullivan and some of her friends from work. As with darts....another career crossed off the list...I didn't break 70 in any of my games!
After our nautical escapade, Tim and Song headed home and Shane and I decided to head out. I had my first experience of side saddling on the back of a motorbike as I hadn't pre-empted the need for practicality and had worn a skirt to work. I shall now pre-empt the need for practicality. I'd rather sit like a man. It is certainly not great for someone with long legs to side saddle as you have to balance both feet on one peddle or stick one foot out to prevent it dragging along the floor risking unsavoury consequences.
A quick drive round the city and we decided to head to the usual expat/ falang hangout; a rooftop bar overlooking the river. On full stomachs of Beer Lao we decided to experiment with cocktails....a pina colada, tequilla sunrise and margarita later we decided to play darts.....whether it be the alcohol or the lack of contact lenses I declare that I shall not be taking up professional darts as a chosen career.
The following day I'd arranged to meet Shane, and more importantly, his motorbike, to visit the 'spectacular' sites of Vientiane. We headed to the Morning Market, so called because it is open all day.....there is logic there somewhere! Originally Vientiane had a morning market and an evening market. The evening market closed and the morning market began staying open all day....the people in Vientiane never quite got round to changing the name.
They sell some wonderful stuff here. Really good quality antique silver, vast swathes of silk in all colours and designs and all the plastic and electronic mass produced 'quality' items you could care to dream of thanks to Laos' Chinese neighbour.
I bought some material to have a Sin made. Sins are the local traditional skirts they wear here. Fortunately, unlike many traditional costumes from around the globe, they are actually extremely smart and wearable within modern society. This will reduce the risk that I shall end up joining the 'dipstick' clan; travellers who insist on wearing their souvenirs on the streets of London in an attempt to appear 'unique' or 'well-travelled', whilst realistically attaining instant 'twit' status. My most recent experience of this phenomenon on the underground was with a white guy wearing a Balinese sun hat- worn subtly in paddy fields, yet achieving monumental 'twit' status on the Picadilly line.
So on to the road trip! Sat comfortably like a man on the back of the motorbike, Shane and I headed out of town towards the 'famous' Buddha park - the vision of a Thai artist. The journey was occasionally chaotic as we weaved around cavernous pot holes attempting to pre-empt some rather unusual driving. Thankfully everyone here drives extremely slowly- possibly due to the speed-reducing potholes- but road deaths still hit 600 year (in a population of 600,000 that is quite a few). Its not overly surprising when most motorbike riders drive one handed with an umbrella to shelter from sun/rain, families of four share a single bike and I've even seen people riding whilst holding parts of their bike together.
The Buddha Park is quite surreal with hundreds of concrete statues of Buddha in all shapes and sizes. It is also very small with a look round taking about 10mins. Our bike ride out had taken about half an hour and, despite it being overcast Shane had turned from pallid to a glorious shade of lobster red. He therefore took it upon himself to drive twice as fast on the return to get out of the sun. Thankfully, he has yet to develop Lao driving skills so we made it safe and sound to Tim and Song's.
Tim and Song have become my adoptive parents out here. They have been so generous. Song offered to cut my hair (she is a professional hairdresser) and after my hairdresser nightmares in Cricklewood, I kindly accepted her offer. She also asked her mum if she could make me a Sin. Her mum measured me up using a piece of string along which she tied strategic knots that somehow represented measurements. When Song's sister arrived from the market she then offered Shane and I three packets each of sweet dried bananas. No one can say that the Lao people are anything but generous. I did however draw the line when Song offered to do my laundry.
In the evening I met up with Shane again -yes I admit I only have one friend here- to go bowling; a favourite past time of the locals in Vientiane! We met up with Shane's best friend Sullivan and some of her friends from work. As with darts....another career crossed off the list...I didn't break 70 in any of my games!
Thursday, 28 July 2005
The war on terror in my living room
Today, I received some unwelcome news. My younger brother has decided to apply to join the RAF. This came as a shock. Before today he's dropped the odd comment and as a family we would joke at his inability to get up in the morning, but now he has actually gone ahead and done it. Ok he hasn't quite made it there yet, he still has various stringent fitness/ IQ tests to do e.t.c but it's one step closer and I'm already worried sick. Of course, whatever decision he makes is up to him and I'll support him whatever, but the thought of a family member becoming tangled up in the web of lies surrounding the war on terror is unsettling.
My reasons for this are many but I shall name a few.
1. My greatest worry about military forces is that when you join you sacrifice your opinions, control over your life and your freedom of speech. By entering such an institution you in effect offer your body, your mind and your soul to be used for military purposes. You can no longer refuse an order on moral grounds. As an example, you may be ordered to bomb a school which your commanding officer believes is a store house for WMD, you may disagree and believe that it is in fact filled with innocent civilians. In warfare however, you surrender your judgment to the decision of another, whether it be your commander or the likes of Monsieur Blair. As we have seen in the recent Iraq war, decisions can be flawed.
2. You are most likely to be killed by friendly fire. Namely by our wonderfully inept American counterparts
3. You are continuously suffocated by propaganda and rhetoric from Bush and Blair. When over a million people marched against the Iraq war do you think the soldiers in Iraq were fully aware of the anger over here? Absolutely not. I was writing to a soldier based in Iraq and he was given the low down by his commander that everything was hunky-dorey over here. The power of propaganda for keeping up morale in the forces shouldn't be underestimated.
4. Joining the military forces means that you trust and believe in your government and you support their dealings in foreign affairs. Whether it be Bush or Blair, they have both lied publicly and they have both fought a war to further their own interests despite public opposition.
5. You live in barracks at arms length from the outside world. This creates insular communities that run the risk of developing a very narrow world view.
6. You have to have a multitude of vaccinations. The Anthrax vaccine has been linked to Gulf War Syndrome. There have been a number of concerns (i.e MMR) about whether having too many vaccines can be detrimental to your health. The case remains open.
7. A 5am wake up call every day
8. Having a family is twice as hard as it would be normally. Children often move from one country to the next which can be unsettling or they only rarely see their father if he is posted abroad.
ok well it's just worrying me writing this so I'm going to stop. The pay might be good, the pension might be great but I personally feel there is more to the RAF than flying planes. It is about feeling 100% comfortable with the governance of your country. I for one am not.
My reasons for this are many but I shall name a few.
1. My greatest worry about military forces is that when you join you sacrifice your opinions, control over your life and your freedom of speech. By entering such an institution you in effect offer your body, your mind and your soul to be used for military purposes. You can no longer refuse an order on moral grounds. As an example, you may be ordered to bomb a school which your commanding officer believes is a store house for WMD, you may disagree and believe that it is in fact filled with innocent civilians. In warfare however, you surrender your judgment to the decision of another, whether it be your commander or the likes of Monsieur Blair. As we have seen in the recent Iraq war, decisions can be flawed.
2. You are most likely to be killed by friendly fire. Namely by our wonderfully inept American counterparts
3. You are continuously suffocated by propaganda and rhetoric from Bush and Blair. When over a million people marched against the Iraq war do you think the soldiers in Iraq were fully aware of the anger over here? Absolutely not. I was writing to a soldier based in Iraq and he was given the low down by his commander that everything was hunky-dorey over here. The power of propaganda for keeping up morale in the forces shouldn't be underestimated.
4. Joining the military forces means that you trust and believe in your government and you support their dealings in foreign affairs. Whether it be Bush or Blair, they have both lied publicly and they have both fought a war to further their own interests despite public opposition.
5. You live in barracks at arms length from the outside world. This creates insular communities that run the risk of developing a very narrow world view.
6. You have to have a multitude of vaccinations. The Anthrax vaccine has been linked to Gulf War Syndrome. There have been a number of concerns (i.e MMR) about whether having too many vaccines can be detrimental to your health. The case remains open.
7. A 5am wake up call every day
8. Having a family is twice as hard as it would be normally. Children often move from one country to the next which can be unsettling or they only rarely see their father if he is posted abroad.
ok well it's just worrying me writing this so I'm going to stop. The pay might be good, the pension might be great but I personally feel there is more to the RAF than flying planes. It is about feeling 100% comfortable with the governance of your country. I for one am not.
What's with computer programmers?
umm ok maybe I am being overly finickity but surely if you design a spell-check for a blogging programme, the words 'blog' and 'blogging' should be recognised as legitimate? The alternative offered is 'flogging'. hmmm I wonder.....
Happy punters
Today I was reprimanded for not blogging since the 25th. I shall respond with a multitude of blogs to rectify the situation. First the good news. My vaguely schizophrenic frenzy of work over the last few days (14 hour day on the craziest) I seem to have got the CD from a menial limp on to a full blown roll. My boss, who returned to work today after two days working at home, seemed extremely pleased with my design work, commenting on its professionalism.
I must admit that I did fall foul to a slightly smug glow for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, I can get too excited yet as the Big Cheese (a very friendly but extremely astute Australian businessman who appears to have my CV imprinted in his brain) will be back from a two week vacation on Monday, so fingers crossed he'll like it. He didn't seem all that impressed with me at the start as I fumbled around trying to master three new computer programmes, so hopefully what I've done to date shall prove my worth.
Not only that but it looks like the CD is on track to be completed by the deadline of next week. If so, I shall have an entire product which I designed and in effect sold (I'm being paid to do this) and so begins my career in communications. It will certainly be a great product to show people at interview, if I do say so myself.
I do worry myself at times. When I get involved in a project I become obsessively focused and barely eat or sleep...ok that may be a slight exaggeration, but I do seem to have a slightly obsessive-compulsive tendency when it comes to work. I call it perfectionism. Not all work, only that which I feel passionate about. It seems that this time round I'm passionate about fish ...a step up from parasites I suppose.
So apart from being an obsessive computer geek for the week, what have I been up to? Saturday night I went out with my American friend Shane. We had freshly grilled fish by the river and chilled out there for a couple of hours. We then met up with his friend and his Lao girlfriend. I'm not one for judgments :), but she had the air of an empty-your-wallet break-your-heart type. Apparently Shane's mate had already bought her a motorbike. Hmmm. I reserve judgment. Hopefully I am wrong and they will live a happy life.
On Sunday I met up with Shane and got picked up by Tim a Son (I really should find out if her name is spelt like this) and went to their house. It's Son's family house actually, a beautiful old, wooden and surprisingly large Lao house on stilts. It is absolutely stunning. At the moment there are three generations of Son's family living under the same roof. Her mum, her, her sisters and her nieces and nephews. Son and her sisters cooked us a superb Lao meal. We had delicious little pancakes filled with coconut to start, then fish laap ( a spicy fish dish) and grilled fish which we ate with sticky rice, noodles and veg. Sticky rice is seriously sticky...nothing like the rice we have in the UK. You roll it into balls and scoop up sauce with it, no cutlery allowed. We spent the entire afternoon there amongst family and about 6 dogs. It was great.
Last night, I gave up on work. I was supposed to meet up with Shane but we managed to miss each other so I sat by the river, watched the sun go down and read for three hours. It was an extremely chilled out evening. Unfortunately, 'Stories of Sickness' is not the most exciting read, but I'm sure it will be of great use when I finally put pen to paper and write my dissertation.
Today I'm working late, but tomorrow night, it'll be Friday night drinks with the expats I imagine!
I must admit that I did fall foul to a slightly smug glow for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, I can get too excited yet as the Big Cheese (a very friendly but extremely astute Australian businessman who appears to have my CV imprinted in his brain) will be back from a two week vacation on Monday, so fingers crossed he'll like it. He didn't seem all that impressed with me at the start as I fumbled around trying to master three new computer programmes, so hopefully what I've done to date shall prove my worth.
Not only that but it looks like the CD is on track to be completed by the deadline of next week. If so, I shall have an entire product which I designed and in effect sold (I'm being paid to do this) and so begins my career in communications. It will certainly be a great product to show people at interview, if I do say so myself.
I do worry myself at times. When I get involved in a project I become obsessively focused and barely eat or sleep...ok that may be a slight exaggeration, but I do seem to have a slightly obsessive-compulsive tendency when it comes to work. I call it perfectionism. Not all work, only that which I feel passionate about. It seems that this time round I'm passionate about fish ...a step up from parasites I suppose.
So apart from being an obsessive computer geek for the week, what have I been up to? Saturday night I went out with my American friend Shane. We had freshly grilled fish by the river and chilled out there for a couple of hours. We then met up with his friend and his Lao girlfriend. I'm not one for judgments :), but she had the air of an empty-your-wallet break-your-heart type. Apparently Shane's mate had already bought her a motorbike. Hmmm. I reserve judgment. Hopefully I am wrong and they will live a happy life.
On Sunday I met up with Shane and got picked up by Tim a Son (I really should find out if her name is spelt like this) and went to their house. It's Son's family house actually, a beautiful old, wooden and surprisingly large Lao house on stilts. It is absolutely stunning. At the moment there are three generations of Son's family living under the same roof. Her mum, her, her sisters and her nieces and nephews. Son and her sisters cooked us a superb Lao meal. We had delicious little pancakes filled with coconut to start, then fish laap ( a spicy fish dish) and grilled fish which we ate with sticky rice, noodles and veg. Sticky rice is seriously sticky...nothing like the rice we have in the UK. You roll it into balls and scoop up sauce with it, no cutlery allowed. We spent the entire afternoon there amongst family and about 6 dogs. It was great.
Last night, I gave up on work. I was supposed to meet up with Shane but we managed to miss each other so I sat by the river, watched the sun go down and read for three hours. It was an extremely chilled out evening. Unfortunately, 'Stories of Sickness' is not the most exciting read, but I'm sure it will be of great use when I finally put pen to paper and write my dissertation.
Today I'm working late, but tomorrow night, it'll be Friday night drinks with the expats I imagine!
Monday, 25 July 2005
The little things of Laos...
Just a few things that I've noticed
1. Extraordinarily clean public/restaurant toilets (both here and Thailand)-possibly related to number 2
2. If you go to a restaurant you are most likely to be sat in someone's living room. To make a little cash, people open up the front of their house, draw up a menu and serve food whilst keeping a beady on the latest Thai soap blaring out of the TV at the back of the room. It is quite normal to be sat in the same room as an entire three generation family watching TV.
3. The length of the menu doesn't necessarily correlate with diversity of food. It is likely that only one or two items on a menu are available.
4. In a restaurant, you will be given a menu and the waiter/waitress will hover about your shoulder whilst you decide. Extremely disconcerting for an indecisive Librian.
5. Pavements are an extension of the road and it is perfectly normal to ride a motorbike along them as needs demand
6. It takes at least three police officers to sit and watch traffic go by at junctions
7. Dried squid impaled on a kebab stick IS a delicacy....so i've been told
8. Delicacies also include fertilised eggs (beak and feathers included) eaten raw
9.When a Tuk Tuk driver says 5,000 kip...he actually means 10,000
10. whatever anyone tells you.....red mud stains
11. sitting on your moped and staring at the Mekong is a local daily must-do
12. Laughing Cow....yep you have to just grin and bare it
13. Coffee and condensed milk...likewise
14. Papaya salad is hot, let this be a warning
15. No matter how sunny it is, there will be a tropical storm at 5pm, just as you're about to leave work
16. A meal for 3 quid is expensive
17. It is perfectly normal to turn up to the bank with a 70 litre rucksack full of cash (I witnessed this today)
1. Extraordinarily clean public/restaurant toilets (both here and Thailand)-possibly related to number 2
2. If you go to a restaurant you are most likely to be sat in someone's living room. To make a little cash, people open up the front of their house, draw up a menu and serve food whilst keeping a beady on the latest Thai soap blaring out of the TV at the back of the room. It is quite normal to be sat in the same room as an entire three generation family watching TV.
3. The length of the menu doesn't necessarily correlate with diversity of food. It is likely that only one or two items on a menu are available.
4. In a restaurant, you will be given a menu and the waiter/waitress will hover about your shoulder whilst you decide. Extremely disconcerting for an indecisive Librian.
5. Pavements are an extension of the road and it is perfectly normal to ride a motorbike along them as needs demand
6. It takes at least three police officers to sit and watch traffic go by at junctions
7. Dried squid impaled on a kebab stick IS a delicacy....so i've been told
8. Delicacies also include fertilised eggs (beak and feathers included) eaten raw
9.When a Tuk Tuk driver says 5,000 kip...he actually means 10,000
10. whatever anyone tells you.....red mud stains
11. sitting on your moped and staring at the Mekong is a local daily must-do
12. Laughing Cow....yep you have to just grin and bare it
13. Coffee and condensed milk...likewise
14. Papaya salad is hot, let this be a warning
15. No matter how sunny it is, there will be a tropical storm at 5pm, just as you're about to leave work
16. A meal for 3 quid is expensive
17. It is perfectly normal to turn up to the bank with a 70 litre rucksack full of cash (I witnessed this today)
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