Saturday, 23 January 2010

You know when you’re in India when…

- You are less than a metre away from someone spitting, clearing their throats or hocking at all times

- You hand your dirty laundry in to be cleaned at a hotel and despite the carefully written list it takes three men to count through each pair of knickers three times in the middle of reception to establish how many items of clothing are in the bag and thus what to charge

- You get a hose rather than loo roll

- Your right hand is your one and only eating utensil

- Your car has only two peddles (to avoid an obstacle you merely swerve and honk your horn)

- You have curry for breakfast, lunch and dinner

- You risk your gastrointestinal health with every meal

- You spend more time looking at the ground and where you are putting your feet than at the sights

- You spend an inordinate amount of time barefoot

- You develop the uncanny ability of having eyes in the back of your head so as to be able to step aside for speeding buses, autorickshaws and bikes

- You keep your mouth firmly shut when having a shower

- You spend less than £4 on food each day

- You can fit an infinite number of people on a bus

- You meet people who have ‘servants’ even in this day and age

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